Chasing Risks by Maria Ann Germain

Author:Maria Ann Germain [Germain, Maria Ann]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Maria Ann Germain
Published: 2020-05-22T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Breath. Breathe. Breathe.

In and out. In and out. Over and over again, as slowly as I can force myself to stretch it.

Just keep breathing—I need the reminder.

But every time I stop counting each in or out to make sure it’s long enough, slow enough, everything speeds back up and makes my head dizzy. There’s a constant buzzing in my brain, worries and arguments that might happen…I can’t quiet the noise. Which is why I sort of sound like I just ran a race to get here.

To Theo’s.

I’m standing in front of Theo’s front door, short of breath and confidence, and trying to work up the nerve to freaking knock already. Because I’m here to tell her about Quincy.

And I already know that it’s not going to go well at all. I mean, I’d like it to. But I’m just not hoping for that. I know better. And I have to tell her anyway, no matter what I expect. If she loves me, if everything she’s said in the past about wanting me to get everything I need, even if it’s from more than just her—just like I want for her, by the way—then she’ll have to get over her initial anger.

I knock with just the edge of my knuckles, focusing on the sting that’s left after a few raps against the solid wood. It sharpens my racing mind.

And I wait for her put down whatever she was doing and make her way to me.

Telling Lucas was easy earlier today. We were on the phone while he waited in some airport on his way home. Of course he was fine with it. Not that I expected anything else. But still. It was a welcome reaction. Unlike, I expect…

“Hey, you,” Theo says after swinging her door open.

She’s like sunshine, even though I’m freaking the hell out. Her smooth skin and the curves of it. The vibrancy of her eyes. The call of her lips to mine…

I kiss Theo before saying anything, and the contact of her skin with mine is settling. It grounds me and sends out reminders that no matter what, we love each other. And this will be fine.

“Mmmmm,” she says as her eyes flutter open after we finally part.

It’s fine. We’ll be fine.

We have to be.

“What’s up?” she asks me once we’re inside. When she does, I realize I still haven’t said a single word.

“I’m good,” I finally get out.

Her eyes narrow at my answer, and I have to stop walking to focus, to remember exactly what she asked and why my response doesn’t fit.

“Sorry I was just on the phone with Lucas. I don’t mean to be distracted,” I say. It’s not untrue, but it wouldn’t hold up to much scrutiny.

Shit, this isn’t starting out great.

“How is he?” Theo asks as she flops backward onto her overstuffed couch. Patting the cushion next to her for me to sit too, she gets comfortable and tucks her feet underneath her. It reminds me of nights when we first started dating, and I settle down next to her.

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